Paul Andrews

Posts Tagged ‘fat cyclist’

Fatty or Snooty? The Hobson’s choice for Bloggies

In Bicycling on January 27, 2010 at 11:06 am

So it’s come to this in the bicycle culture. We have the choice of voting, in the annual Bloggies Awards, between a fat cyclist and a bike snob.

Now we in the cycling community know perfectly well what’s going on here. Fat Cyclist isn’t really fat, and Bike Snob isn’t actually a snob. Fatty may have started out that way (using the term loosely), but for quite a while now he’s been a barrel-chested, iron-thighed, pedal-mashing Thor of muscle and bone. The guy has ridden with Lance Armstrong and Team Radio Shack, fer crissakes. He’s training for a freakin’ marathon. You and I know that.

Odd maybe...but not fat

But the non-velocipedes who make up the vast majority of the American public do not. The American public sees “Fat Cyclist” and thinks folds of lycra’d flesh balanced on two wheels like mounds of whipped cream on a spoon, with a flabby pear-shaped head that makes his helmet the size of a yarmulke. The American public sees Chris Farley on a comfort bike. They see someone called Fat Cyclist is in line for a Bloggie, and they go Wha??? Is that the best they can come up with?

Well, as a matter of fact, it is. Because the alternative is the Snob.

Now we all know that Bike Snob isn’t really a snob or he’d never blog about something as common and filthy as cycling. He would be some bow-tied oenophile blogging about what Bordeaux goes with foie gras and Muenster cheese. Or about the definitive interpretation of the libretto to The Magic Flute. A true snob would not be caught dead riding some oily contraption along the besotted gutters of 42nd Street. A snob on a bike would perspire on his tux. He would get grease on the cuffs of his Armanis. Snobbery, really, has no place in the cycling community, except when a roadie meets a mountain biker. And the outcome of that is never pretty.

What a BikeSnob fan looks like

The mainstream public doesn’t realize that Bike Snob is just another loser who can’t scrounge up cab fare home. They think he’s some epicure putting on airs, carrying on like he’s better than the rest of us. They think he blogs for Slate, or maybe The Daily Beast.

Unfortunately, we bona fide members of the cycling community are stuck with a choice of incredible political incorrectness. It’s either obesity or snootiness. ShopWrech.net and BottomBracket.org didn’t make the cut. If we really want to support our precious avocation, we have to ignore public perception and vote for a cyclist. Knowing this, knowing they’ve got us between a proverbial fat rock and snob place, both candidates have put together shameless self-promotional solicitations worthy of Donald Trump on crystal meth, which as a public service we are linking to because … well, because we care.

FatCyclist: “Vote for me because my third win means I won’t be eligible to harangue you next year!”

BikeSnobNYC: “Vote for me and you could win a new bike that is too declassé for the Snob to be seen with, let alone ride!”

Daily Roundup: More bike giveaways, including a new record, robotic tandem, justice equally meted & more

In Daily Roundup, Rider Down, This Day In Doping on December 23, 2009 at 4:09 am

Waxahachie: Police donate 70 bikes.

A 10-year-old raises money to give away bikes.

“Bicycle Man” breaks the record with 1,100 bike giveaways!

What makes Fat Cyclist tick.

Ride tandem and make yourself a robot for a stoker and guess what. No complaining from the back about not being able to see anything!

You can break the rules and become a mountain biking world champion. And you can break the rules and look at jail time.

There is some justice after all.

Daily Roundup: Drunkcyclist in Skagit, Palo Alto Bicycles founder, new Momentum editor and more…

In Bicycling, Mountain Biking on December 15, 2009 at 12:38 pm

DrunkCyclist is in Skagit Valley. What is he thinking!

Fat Cyclist continues to live the dream!

RC reviews the new Stan’s ZTR Crest wheelset and Raven tires… perceptive comments as always.

Bernie Hoffacker, founder of Palo Alto Bicycles and an industry icon, died December 5 at Stanford Hospital. Back in the day, Palo Alto Bicycles and Ric and Jon Hjertberg’s Wheelsmith a couple blocks away made Palo Alto one of the coolest places on earth. Palo Alto Bicycles had the classiest mail order catalog anywhere, helping to fuel the bike boom of the ’70s, and its posters of Tour legends and local wheel-building icon Jobst Brandt riding the Swiss Alps still hang in my basement.

It was during the Tour when PA Bikes became a real gathering place. You have to remember, there was no TV coverage or even mention of the Tour. Newspapers ran nothing, not even results.

So every afternoon we’d gather at Palo Alto Bicycles (or Wheelsmith) for results, usually posted on a small piece of paper tacked to a bulletin board or wall. And then we’d debate about who was going to win and fantasize what it would be like to be following the peloton through the mountains.

We never thought we’d get live coverage of the Tour each day, or be able to chatter on our keyboards via the Internet. We were happy just for the stage winners and Top 10 overalls. Thanks to Palo Alto Bicycles for feeding the mind, inspiring the soul and supplying the kit over the years. Twitter tributes here.

New editor at Momentum magazine. The redoubtable Amy Walker will step aside to focus on creative direction, while the former Web editor, Sarah Ripplinger, takes over the helm. Whatever the challenges of print publishing these days, Momentum’s a great group and has a good bead on bike culture. We wish them well for 2010.

Daily Roundup: Tough grrrl, Fat Cyclist—Fat Fundraiser, Shipping your bike for holidays, Wrongful deaths & more

In Bicycle advocacy, Daily Roundup, Mountain Biking on December 11, 2009 at 2:08 am

Any of us who went through puberty know that 16-year-old girls are the toughest, strongest, orneriest creatures on earth. So here’s a mountain-biking version who did an unintentional 90-foot huck and lived to tell the tale, when she’s back up and around anyway.

It also helped that she’s Scottish of course. Said the Welshman.

Have you been watching what’s going on over at Fat Cyclist? I mean, $100,000+ in less than 3 days???

Taking your bike along on holiday travels? You’re a fool, you know. Here’s BikePortland.org to wise you up. I may well take my bike on my holiday travels. It will be on a Thule rack atop my car.

Giant’s CEO on bike sales during the Great Recession (or Double Dipression as I like to call it): They ain’t as good as most execs will say.

The wrongful death suit is turning into a pretty good weapon for families of cyclists heedlessly run over and killed by negligent drivers (many of whom aren’t even cited). Usually they’re settled, and with good reason. No court is going to side with a driver who just wasn’t paying attention enough to avoid snuffing out someone’s life.

Daily Roundup: Easton recall, Sam Brown on TV, Part III “Missing Link,” & more

In Bicycling, Daily Roundup, Mountain Biking on November 14, 2009 at 10:00 am

Easton recalls bikes because of piece-of-crap stems that break.

The saga of Sam Brown, the brilliant slopestylist who took his own life after being arrested for drug trafficking, makes CBC television.

Part III in SeattleLikesBikes wonderful series on the Burke-Gilman Trail’s “missing link” in Ballard.

There is justice in the world: Palo Alto cops track down a bike thief.

Fat Cyclist’s appeal: He’s Everyman on Wheels. Here his crew takes on Fuita — and yes, Fruita wins.

Daily Roundup: Fat Cyclist & Fit Cyclist, Semenuk, Bike sales s-l-o-w

In Bicycle Racing, Daily Roundup, Mountain Biking on November 2, 2009 at 2:53 am

Fat Cyclist hangs with Fit Cyclist.

Early Christmas presents are on sale at Ric Hjertberg’s Wheel Fanatyk, especially Ghisallo wood rims!

We repeat: Brandon Semenuk is redefining the expression, “Go Big!”

Shimano sales down 21 percent in 3rd quarter. Mavic sales down 14 percent. Dismal as both sound, read the links. The issue appears to be margins. The mid-range and high-end stuff isn’t moving. That’s where the fat profits are. Otherwise, the bike business is doing better than most in this Redepression or whatever you want to call it.